First of all shoutouts to Thefilleryd and Joshimuz for really coming up with the route
So yeah this game is pretty bad.
One note on timing: The load times in this game are really stupid, so start time once you first hear
footsteps after the opening cutscene, not when the game loads in, because I'm actually running during
Anyway, onto the run itself
This run was pretty much perfect save for one small fall costing me 4 seconds. It's 8 seconds slower than my sum of best,
which is about even factoring for fluctuating load times.
As I mentioned before, this game loads your character position in before the rest of the enviroment
So I am able to start walking sideways before the game fully loads. Doing this, I can walk to the left toward
the carriage, then clip through it, and start walking back towards the axe as quick as possible.
One mention about movement in this game; there is no difference between walking backwards and forwards in speed, however jumping up slopes
is faster than walking. I only walk backwards because the game has terrible mouse acceleration
and I want to catch my bearings before turning around or else I'll bonk into a tree or something.
Back to the run. I walk across the lake because its faster than the bridge. After I grab the axe, I take the
bridge because this lets me jump across a small gap in the snow.
I then run and do the first lockpick puzzle. These are all plagiarized from a a puzzle book so they all
have set solutions. I can do them as quick as the turning animation on the pick turns. I need 200 gold for a bribe later.
I then run to lazlo to trigger the cutscene, then trigger the cutscene to the next area.
Guest Room 1
Here I have to go through two dialogue options with the floating Izabella, who also has a sklin condition switch causes
her head to clip with the rest of her body and form strange holes. Dialogue options change absolutely nothing at all, so I just click
one as fast as I can. They don't even effect the next box of dialogue. The entire game is voiced, but mashing esc avoids that because you don't want to hear that anyway.
I then run and grab the money pouch and some Empty Vials. No item can be skipped in the game unfortunately. A note on the items as well.
One again a bit of lazy programming. Items are not unique objects in your inventory. Instead, each item has its own spot in your inventory.
This means that having the item is just a TRUE or FALSE value. In addition, more lazy programming forces me to slow down a bit because the
item does not appear in your inventory until the "Acquired" screen appears. If two stack on top of each other, I have to wait for the
second one before going through the door or I don't get the item.
One again using the loading screen "glitch" to walk sideways to gain some ground, then turn into Guest Room 2
Guest Room 2
Little bit of tech here. There are two items to get: a vial and an apple. The vial is inside of a cupboard, which takes some time to open.
So for efficiency sake, I open the cupboard, grab the apple while its opening, then get the vial, and leave.
I run to the count. Same deal as Izzabella. Once I get the key I jump down the stairway and open the door.
One of the selling points of the game was "stealth tactics." Notice here all I do to steal the gold is crouch behind them.
It doesn't matter at all if they see me first or anything. I just have to be crouched and behind them. This is the ONLY
time in the game you ever use "stealth". I then run to the top of the stairway and use a super jump glitch to fall rather than run
all the way around the stairs. The glitch is done by crouch jumping. Thats it. Cool QA. Anyway its faster than clipping through the guard rail.
I use "stealth" one last time to take the key. I think I clicked him again so he caught me. There’s absolutely no repercussions. I then run and jump
down the stairs and unlock the dungeon.
This area actually loads correctly. One thing you'll notice is that the devs didn't know how to make spawn points so the game literally drops
you into the map. Anyway the game then triggers a skippable cutscene that resets your position. I run to the right and use the axe to open
the door and do another plagiarized lockpick puzzle. I hit the barrel to get the fur and head to the back.
I jump down this stairway again and head back to the jail. Here, I hold the apple and run sideways into Filche's cutscene. Doing this, I don't
have to move to hand him the apple afterwards. Here you meet the incredible floating man Filch, who seems to have holes in his chest. After some dialogue,
I open his cell and run sideways back toward the grate, crouch under, and enter the catacombs.
This cutscene isn't skippable. After it, a beautifully rendered jumpscare starts "chasing you" (in reality its a pretty shitty single animation 3D texture
going at a snails pace.) After that I CLUTCH THE GODDAMN LEVER. THATS RIGHT. More jumping down stairs and hitting levers. At the fork, I run left and do the
puzzle (which actually breaks before you finish it for some reason. Next is a pretty nice skip that saves about a minute. You're supposed to do a long boring
jump and lever puzzle, but if you hit the lever at the fork, then hit it again and run through the gate behind you before it closes, you can skip it and run
to the exit, skipping the whole thing.
I run backwards and grab the bark (which might I add would be impossible to find in a casual play through. Afterwards I just grab a bunch of items in the kitchen
and do the lockpick puzzle. Nothing interesting. I then make a potion (its in a book that Flitch gives you but you can make the potion without it). After getting the potion I go
and turn into a wolf (which has the most cringeworthy animation I might add), destroy a pillar (I need 20 of these) then run and destroy two doors. A note here. There used to be a glitch
that caused you stack the sound of your attacking effect, creating a demonic kind of distortion. Unfortunately some people on the steam forums were not amused and got it patched (which might
I add created a game breaking glitch back at the Count which prevented you from choosing dialogue and advancing). In reality, the glitch is still there, the devs just covered over it by
preventing you from running, jumping, or attacking after you attack. This loses me about a second per attack in the game unfortunately. It being a steam game, the faster version of the game is lost forever.
Anyway to transform back into a human you have to wait a good time in darkness. So nothing better to do but mess around until you turn back. Dialogue then I run into the courtyard.
I run around the other side and do another lockpick puzzle (notice how few "puzzles" there are outside the puzzles they plagurized). I then enter the Chapel.
I grab some flowers then transform into a wolf, break down a door and some pillars heading upstairs, then wait out the transformation at the top. After that, I do another lockpick puzzle then leave.
Here I just fall down rather than just go down the stairs as theres no fall damage or anything. I grab the nuts, then do the lockpick. After which, I run up the stairs and turn into a wolf. I do it on the lower
circle because then I'm faster running up the rest of the stairs. I run to the top and destroy the pillar. After this I jump across the balconys and out the door. I run and jump down the walkway, getting hit on
purpose along the way. Getting attacked hastens up your transformation, so as soon as I destroy the door on the other side I turn back into a human. I run around and do the lever "puzzle" here. I find it interesting that
there is absolutely NO indication of the solution anywhere in the game. This opens up the door, so I grab the thorns and run to the balcony. The wonderful blue on the ground is actually out of bounds with no texture. Guess the devs
were too lazy to do backgrounds. I can easily hop out of bounds here, but its not useful because the entire game is elevated off the map. Anyway, I turn into a wolf, get hit twice, then run down the hallway to the door and enter.
I talk to filch then run to the courtyard.
I run to the kitchen
I run and enter the door I unlocked before. I had to talk to Filch to lower and invisble wall, but I also had to do the whole Chapel and East Wing so talking
to him after completing that is the most efficient route.
I run to the left, chop down the door, then enter the Brewery.
I run to the left and hit the pillar. This releases the snail speed wearwolf (which might I add is a fourth of the size he was back in the Catacombs). Here is where I do another nice skip that saves about 2:30. After I grab the cog ,
I run into the wolf to deathwarp back to the ladder. The intended was has me lowering a gate, running into a small little alcove, and waiting out the wolfs lityle scripted pathing. Obviously this is faster. Dying locks out the good end,
but the games story is trash so who cares.
I run to the other side and chop down the door, inset the cog, and pull the lever. This lowers the gate, but I still need to transform to open another locked door behind who (who would design that?). I then run across the side of the castle
(avoiding the blue circle because that would add more time to the transformation), destroying a pillar, then waiting out the transformation in a shadow. I then click on the library window.
I run forward and do one last lockpick. Run around the side to get another vial inside a cupboard. I then run to the back to hit and lever, which causes Filch to magically appear inside the Library. I talk to him to make a book and a card appear
in a bookcase near the entrence. This activates a glitched dialouge box that goes while I'm moving, so I need to pause the game to make it go away, otherwise, the next puzzle would not be possible. As for the puzzle, its just a generic matching game.
The mouse acceleration can cause me to choose the wrong one and reset the whole thing so I'm a bit cautious. After doing that (which doesn't actually seem to do anything in terms of the events going on), the incredible shrinking/growing wearwolf appears
again so I have to go wait it out under a table, where obviously a dog would never smell me. Here you can get a glimpse of the wolf's amazing animations
After that I run into the secret room, grab a few items (skipping Filch here softlocks the game) and leave.
Go to courtyward
Head to kitchen
I make another potion. I need to get a few more pillarsd so I head back into the catacombs
Nothing special here. Just turn into a wolf and destory two pillars in the catacombs. After doing that, I kill myself so I don't have to wait out the transformation, then run back into the kitchen
I superjump down, transform, destroy the pillar, then get attacked a few times so I turn back. I head down into the dungeon.
Same deal, destroy the pillar, deathwarp back to the entrance
I click on the door and bribe the guard to leave. Nothing special.
Alright this area is really complex but I'll basically say it was a bitch to learn and route. Theres 10 pillars scattered with very few landmarks the zone is just copypasted textures), so its all muscle memory.
After getting all those I zone back into the courtyard.
Run upstairs to Upper Halls
Enter Guest Room 2
Guest Room 2
Here I talk to Izabella with a nice glitched cutscene. I could just walk out and continue the cutscene outside, but the items won't appear in your inventory so the game will softlock. After this I heard all the way to the kitchen.
Make a potion and head back to upper halls
Here I put an amulet onto the statue to move a painting on the back and grab the key to the final area. This dialouge isn't skippable.
This is it! The Count was behind the something-or-other all along! He has trapped Izabella and intends on useing her to kill you! What kind of evil, deadly trap has he set up to stop you?!?!
Hit a lever
Become a wolf
jump across the platforms
Hit another level
Time ends on choosing "Cure Yourself"