|Completion Date||Aug. 1, 2013|
|Runner||Maik 'Onin' Biekart|
Time estimate: 45:23
This run uses an old version (specifically 1.42.3) to make use of glitches that were fixed in version 1.42.6. I'm not sure how easy it is to procure an older version of the game anymore, but if necessary (and allowed), I can share it.
While I'm eternally sad that some points of bad RNG robbed me of a sub-45 time in this run, I'm happy enough with my own execution to accept my losses. This run is a 3 minute improvement on my previous record, despite the bad luck, which is more than I could've asked for.
This run makes excessive use of two glitches that were fixed in patch 1.42.6, and are thus only available to old versions (I run 1.42.3):
I pick up the Fire quest, as this element is vital to the completion of the game in two later areas. It's only a minor detour to complete, unlike most other magic quests, and it even pays back some time by giving me a Blacksmith's Hammer, an extraordinarilly high level weapon which I can just use to murder the first boss. Sadly it doesn't one-shot snakes, so I can't use it to murder everyone.
The Dynidon fight loses me 20 seconds by starting with an egg spitting phase, during which I can barely do any damage to him. It's not the end of the world since it gives me some free experience, and the kill on the second phase is faster than average. His death gives me the Sewers key and a bunch of gold for my first shopping spree.
Finally, I want a Tome of Fireball, but this item can only be bought in the Sewers shop. So I'll have to make my way down there, past a Moai head (who gives me time to rearrange my hotbar), all the while breaking some barrels to get the wood to complete the Fire quest. I also start taking time to pick up valuable items in order to afford said tome. Zoidberg says hi, in his unique way, and I gain the power of Fire.
At this point, the whole route boils down to two things: Experience and gold. Fireball is a level 5 spell, and requires 8 Red Essences per cast. Therefore I have to level up to 5 in this area and gather between 600 and 700 gold to stock up on red essences; that's enough to last me the rest of the game. In addition, the Library has a bunch more neat items, like 3 free Phase Doors (saving 75 gold to buy), a unique Polearm that hits multiple enemies, and Ghost Form potions that make me immune to physical things.
This area can cost a lot of time depending on a lot of random factors, like enemy pathing, falling off things, screwy AI... The only thing going wrong in this run is Leviathos being a bit of a troll, but that's fine.
Once level 5 has been achieved, I teleport to the Kitchen to sell all my loot and stock up on red essences, then execute the second Televator glitch, this time (eventually) landing on top of the Kitchen, and jumping straight into Medeox's boss room. Who is, by the way, the 7th and technically last boss of the game.
Jokes aside, the Tower is the most dangerous area in the game, and also the most time-consuming. Once again, it can all be condensed down to experience and gold. I need to buy the Invoke Fire Spirit tome in the shop here, which is a level 10 spell and costs 1500 gold. The gold is not a big issue, but 5 whole levels of experience takes quite a while.
The best place to farm this is in the top three rooms, which are filled to the brim with spiders. Evil, evil spiders, that can easily stack up deadly amounts of poison damage, that drop from the ceiling onto your head, in the pitch dark. To make it a little easier on myself, I use ghost shape to run the hell past them (and also past a group of ghosts [how does that even work? why does ghost shape save me from ghosts?]) so I can open up the back door and not waste too much time when I'm forced to heal up and run back. Sadly, ghost shape prevents you from activating lanterns.
Again, a speedy clear of this part of the run comes down to skillful handling of random AIs, and it's pretty rare that I don't have to unwillingly reset once. I do get extremely close to dying just before level 10, but that was all a calculated risk. No really. I swear.
Next up on the list are slimes and gelitaneous cubes. Gelitaneous cubes do massive corrosive damage if you touch them, so I don't touch them. Slimes apply a Sticky Hands debuff on you, which randomly makes you drop your equipped weapon. This also removes them from your hotbar, costing even more time, so I quickly swap away from my halberd, and sit around a bit while waiting.
Red wizards, next up, can do a decent amount of damage if they hit you, but their only annoyance is the fire spirits they summon. Those can only be hit with frost damage, and they count as mobs as far as magical ladders are concerned, so more time sitting around.
Finally, the single and only reason I had to reach level 10 at all: Purple wizards. These bastards have a near-permanent projectile reflection shield, making them immune to the vast majority of spells. To make matters worse, they always hang out on high ledges, there it's impossible to reach them with non-projectile attacks. So far I've only found three spells that can reliably kill them: Midas Transmutation (which I only get one scroll for), Sleep (which is Arcane magic, and the quest to unlock it is stupidly difficult at low levels), and Fire Spirit.
To make matters worse, Fire Spirits are dumb as bricks. They only bother attacking anything if it somehow lands in their line of sight, and once they've picked someone, they never switch targets. At best, they slowly but surely seek out every purple wizard thanks to the skeletons aggroing them. At worst, they can drift around randomly for several seconds, finally aggro a wizard, and then disappear just before it dies. Oh, and they can aggro onto fire spirits, despite being unable to damage them.
-Not The Elves-
To finish off the run, I Televator glitch with the Strange Scroll, and fall down onto the very top of the Land of Elves. One screen to the right is the "final boss," and one screen further is the crystals that power their portal. I don't like elves, so I destroy their portal. Then I teleport back to the top of the Wizard Tower, where we find the master of the castle, who also doesn't like elves. He wants me to destroy their portal. Since I already did that, I guess that means I've beaten the game.