|Completion Date||July 2, 2012|
|Runner||Frank 'Softman25' Black|
before I begin, I may as well come clean, as I always do. This is not a perfect run. IN my opinion, a perfect run could shave about...50-60 seconds off of my time...but Softman, why aren't you trying again to get that perfect run? Well, I hope that throughout my notes and initial commentary here, I will make myself clear enough so that even if this run is rejected, I at least can see why.
First of all, when I started this run I didn't realise just how RNG this game is. There are really so many factors where it's just lucky whether you succeed or not...for example.
- Fast cars spawning.
In the run that I have submitted, I really did play pretty...above average. Not perfect, but above average. However, I received enough good luck that in my opinion, I don't think I'll ever achieve such luck again. Therefore, I don't think I personally could get my time any lower. Maybe someone will come along, find a sequence break, or a way to spawn the cars you want on the street, and hell, I'll tip my hat to that person. However as it stands, this is the best of the best...To put it in perspective, originally I was aiming for about 46...I estimated sub 45 was possible...and hell it probably is. But still, I've come clean, my heart is pure, and now I can actually get on with writing about the run.
In regards to the run, I really want to point out how asinine the controls are. Shooting feels extraordinarily slippery, driving is stiff, but as soon as you hit the E-brake, you spin on out all over the place! Fighting is OK, but it's like a FPS in that if you aren't directly "aiming" at the thing you are trying to hit...you just swat at air. Thankfully the enemy sometimes does this and you can get free hits in. So it's not so bad. Secondly, read my notes about RNG above if you haven't already, it's a major player...as you'll find out. Three...the game is stupid and hard to circumvent. I'll try to mention everything which I just found stupid, however the list is not necessarily exhaustive. FOr example, in a run which wasn't good, I kicked a bad guy through the wall...and he didn't come back for about 20 seconds...HOW, WHY? Don't ask me! Anyway, on to level notes...
The first thing you may or may not notice is that I take a small step backwards. This is to prevent a stupid glitch where Nick (the protagonist, who I will refer to as Nick) only fires his left gun...and not his right. This costs about a second, since not as many bullets are flying. You'll notice on the "four targets" I take out the one who is second from the left first...this isn't a mistake, it's just how I do it. Call it stupid...but it doesn't waste time, I tested it. Then there's another glitch as I fire at the rest of the targets. If you reload and fire immediately, he fires both his guns the first time instead of just one. This saves overall maybe...0.3 of a second or something stupid like that...And yes, you have to reload after every target. Unless you count shots, but then again, that's slower than just mashing the fire key. Also reloading gives you the both guns thing which isn't so bad! Overall, I'd give myself a 9/10 for this. It wasn't perfect, but it was within a hairs breath.
RUSHING TO EOD
This is the most simple of the race missions. The reverse stunt I pull at the beginning is interesting. Because of the game deciding that acceleration forward is for pussies, they decided to make it so reversing is faster than going forward for a time. So I hit the wall as a buffer then slide away, as opposed to swinging out the other way, which is slower. You also note that I have no regard for civilian lives, they are just annoying. Now then, this is the first car swap of the game. As far as I can find, the easiest way to take someone else's car is to park in front of it...so I do. This means that the other guy doesn't move, and you can hop out of your car and into his...This wastes time on the immediate split, because of the time it takes to switch, but you notice that the car is WAY faster than Nick's default. The rest of this was perfect, I hit a couple of civilians after the goal...but who cares!
DRIVING FOR CHOW / AIM ASSISTANCE
This mission is the first "cruise" mission in which I let many a street crime go by as I race for the real goal. I also stop off for the upgrade, aim assistance. There are reasons for this, but I'll go into them more as I get to the parts where I actually use it. This wrong way on the road stunt is trickt, and I crash once costing me <1 second, so I'm not fussed. Aim Assistance itself went really well except for the moving target. However I did really well on the other targets, so again, maybe a loss of a second. You notice I'm at the same place as the first mission...and I just sail into the goal.
This could have gone better...however this is where RNG has come into play for the fights. His first kick comes BEFORE I HAVE CONTROL OF THE CHARACTER...Therefore I can't do anything about it but just take it...this makes me lose maybe...2 seconds. The rest of the fight goes as planned. This is also a good place to point out the use of Monkey Kick into walls. If an enemy hits certain walls, they take "I hit a wall really hard" damage. This is used to speed up fights...although not all arenas have these walls for some reason...maybe the devs increased the difficulty? This fight went OK...I didn't LOSE too much time, but I didn't really gain anything either.
ROSIE TROUBLE (Ch1 finale)
This is one of the quicker missions in the game. I used to do the precise aim from where I started, but you can't actually hit the guy until he stops...so I do two rolls to get myself in position then spam shots. It works...
CRUISING FOR LEADS
I keep the fast car from the last chapter...and just drive to a place. I hit a van which was a street crime...and that cost me maybe 3 seconds...But it kinda just...came on me and I didn't have any time to react...so I just took it! Having the fast car mitigates the time loss though...so I wasn't all fussed.
This is the first fight where you can't just spam, you generally mix it between punches and low kicks. Which I do to reasonable effect. To also illustrates the "jump kick window". When an enemy gets up after a finishing move, there is a window there they cannot block. Since the jump kick does the most damage, you can get a free, high damage hit, it's fun! This fight was pretty good, but I missed a monkey kick > wall and I miscalculated the guy's HP by one low kick...son of a...
RED LANTERN RUSH
Having the fast car makes failing this impossible...But just passing isn't what I'm aiming to do, right?I take the shortcut I use really well, smash a car for minimal time loss, then hit a wall...pretty meh performance.
The first fight where you could die...cause of the knife's high damage. I used to disarm him with a throw...but then I realised...I could just beat him up...So I did. This went pretty well, although the game DECIDED to glitch the hell out and clip the bad guy away from my monkey paw...WHICH SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED AND WAS NOT MY FAULT...son of a...
CHASING TRIAD THUG
Here's where RNG kicks me in the nuts and then takes my girlfriend out for a quiet movie. Essentially, whatever car you had before...poof...gone! Not anywhere in sight. Now, you can chase the guy on foot and regain Nick's car, but that is SLOW. So you get a car and run him down...I get a slow POS...DAMN IT...Actually running the guy down went perfectly though. Sometimes he jumps out of the way...NOT THIS TIME! (The time I lose finding a car isn't anywhere near as bad as if I chased him on foot)
DRIVING TO JIMMY'S
First thing, I'll illustrate the stupidity of the cutscenes. Some, instantly skippable, some, random as balls. SO I do this little accidental pause thing as I mash the Esc button...Sometimes, even though I mash the button, it takes another two lines of dialogue before I can skip the cutscene, go figure. But yeah, the slow car is a crutch and a blessing. It's a crutch because it's slow, but it's also pretty safe, so I only make one crash which...was really hilarious, and didn't cost too much time. There was nother, but it was RNG's fault.
Now, this mission is one I'm good at, so it's a really good thing I don't mess it up at all. This is pretty much perfect...optimised movement and all.
This is where execution and memory pays off. The first two bad guys...I mess it up...maybe a second or so of stupid...maybe two. I grab the automatic because it rips through bad guys like nothing, speedung up the process. I grab the AK for the same reason. This is the sloppiest mission in the run imo...but it's not horrible.
SNIPER ASSASSIN (Ch2 finale)
The shortest mission and one of the reasons why I got Aim Assistance. Just...hilarious...just watch it damn you!
OFF TO CHONG'S
Same crappy ass car, same results...limited crashes, smooth ride though. I was constantly looking for a better car, with no luck.
TAILING CHONG'S LIMO
I do a great job of tailing it...I fail this on purpose for the sole reason that the tail...takes...FOREVER. The car I tail ACTUALLY STOPS AT RED LIGHTS...So I just shoot the guy down and fail on purpose...this results in me having to do Crime Patrol, but we'll get to that later...In general, the mission for what it was, went smooth as.
DRIVING TO SPA
More driving, more of...nothing to say...same slow car though. I saw a couple of faster ones when I was near the objective, but it was pointless to switch since I was so close to the objective..and I surrender this car at the beginning of the next chapter.
This...went horribly..I missed the waiter chick and almost fail, twice. Timewise, I lose maybe 4-6 seconds...but honor wise, I lose more...
SHOWER ROOM ANTICS
First monkey kick messes up...of course...more glitchy clipping. Then the sink refuses to deal damage...stupid troll. The "boss" of the shower is the first hard enemy in the game...truly. He's like a slower version of the final fight, but with just as much annoying blocking. Seriously though, he has pretty much the same moves, the kicks, the slow punches, the faster backhands. The fight went...OK.
THE ACCOMPLICE (Ch3 finale)
This is without a doubt...the most fun shooting level. It's a wave style arena...Damn this is fun. THe AK is better than the shotgun, but in general AK>Shotgun>revolvers. I get shot up badly by shotguns, the most lethal gun in the hands badguys, forcing me to use bullet time and heal. The rest of the fight goes smooth until the "boss"...I miss the precision shot and end up having to wait for a reload cycle to avoid...DYING...which I almost do.
The blister on the ass of this game. Essentially, you have to solve these street crimes, which are random when they spawn, how they spawn, and what type of crime they are. In general, it's just stupid. Funnilly enough though, this was one of my better performances according to my splits! Go figure...
STRIP CLUB DETOUR
More random pausing...always fun. Then it happens...ANOTHER FAST CAR...I smiled and leaped for joy. No other notes than that...pretty good luck though. I dodge some cars nicely, and believe it or not, I only crash once and lose no time because my speed barely drops. For once the stupid clipping of the game actually worked in my favour!
My main note about this fight is my use of the whip. It does more damage than my fights...therefore I use it. It allows my to one cycle the "weaker" girls...and do huge damage to the boss. One glitchy monkey kick contained within...AGAIN...NOT MY FAULT...Stupid game...ITS TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD! >.< Boss blocked a little more than I would have liked, but it was a good fight in general.
CRUSING FOR LOLA
More driving, nothing much to say really.
THE DRIVING TEST
The main crash of the driving is contained within...it costs about 5 seconds...and I can't blame the game for this one, all my fault...I almost failed the mission because of it which would have made me ditch the run altogether...but I didn't...Yeah, I'm ashamed, but sue me.
For whatever reason, the cop car took a ton more bullets than it usually does. Also, yes, the fastest way quite frankly IS to blow up the car, otherwise it limps behind you, and since you're IN A VAN...it's faster, you can't complete the mission...etc etc...you get the idea!
This is why...THIS IS WHY...I hate RNG, but love it as well. At the beginning of the fight, Lola pulls off her "special", the cartwheel. I can't dodge it, or block it...BECAUSE I DONT HAVE CONTROL OF NICK...She does this three times, I lose half health...I can't do ANYTHING, because I haven't even been able to move...Then...just watch...I lay down the smackdown. Quickly evening the playing field , and winning in possibly the quickest time I will EVER...HOPE to achieve. I am...REALLY happy with this fight. I mean...stupidly happy...
SNIPER REDUX (Ch4 finale)
Of course I miss...But not twice...It's the same mission from Ch2, but this time the distance is about double...it's pretty cool actually hitting the guy on the second bullet. I mean, I've done the first before, but it's still...hard as nails...And I'm not throwing out a run for a 4 second loss.
THE AIRPORT LEAD
Fun, starting with the van! But LOOK...ITS A FAST CAR. This is the BEST LUCK I've had, ever. This alone made me say, screw it, this is the run. There is no way I can possibly do this mission faster, and this is the longest driving segment in the GAME...to my knowledge. Even though I had that slow car for a while, this makes up for it TOTALLY...Nothing else to say really...
What I usually do is just unload rounds into the van without a care in the world. But for whatever reason, I tried it with the precision aim to get rid of the guys...because they will wreck your car in mere seconds...But it worked, so stuff it!
A RACE DOWNTOWN
The last race...and I'm so depressed about it that I kill myself! Literally! This is done to skip two missions, and propel me to one which is quicker than the "normal" mission. And since this is the last chapter, they don't make you do Crime Patrol...it's great!
The second sloppiest level in the in run, for one reason...shotguns...That dude with the shotgun on the second floor. He wrecked me so many times in the past. The run was so good at this point that I was more willing to lose about 7 seconds by pullng the bullet time stunts...to avoid instant death by shotgun...BECAUSE SHOTGUNS WILL DECIMATE YOUR FACE...I love the trick with the auto shotguns on the last floor...it's hilarious!
BAD POLITICS (Ch5 finale)
Ah, the end of the game...and the enemy who decides that he's just going to BLOCK EVERYTHING. The trick with the boss in general (the boss is called The General, what I said was a pun) is to mash, but since I'm trying to do it fast, I spam low kicks. They have the highest chance of interupting his attacks and getting hits in. It's also the one fight I block in, because of the high chances of dying badly if you don't. The General generally attacks in combos of two (i.e. left fist, right fist) and my rule is that if the first hits, block the second. It keeps you alive for longer. RNG can sometimes hand you a real freebie and let you just wail on the poor bastard for no real reason other than...RNG likes you...This was a really inense fight, if anything just because of the time I had going into the fight...I knew sub 45 was possible. However...due to serious dickiness, it was turned into a dream more forgotten...when the grapple went through I thought I was dead, started cursing, then unleashed RNG's final gift...and won...jumped in the air, shouted jubilance. etc etc. Fun fight.
Just watch Walken deliver his lines. Greatest...voice...ever (Walken is the narrator)
Yeah, there are many points to improve. The General fight could have gone better, plenty of little minor mistakes could have been fixed. But the luck I had in the run overall, makes this a really damn good run. It's the fastest I've gotten by a longshot...
For the record, due to the nature of the run (RNG) I have decided to abandon this game for running. Hopefully this run gets accepted by the SDA verifiers, however even if it doesn't, I am still proud of my achievement, it was a good run.
SDA, for maintaining the site, and the forums which I have used to plan the run
If you enjoyed this run, please come find me on either TwitchTV or Youtube. I stream on Twitch mostly, but my Youtube is still THERE if you're interested! ;)